I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
