I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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