That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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