Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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