There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
