She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
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Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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