Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
