And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
