Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
