YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
