Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
