Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
