Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize