Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
