I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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