I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
