i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
