So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
