He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
