No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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