Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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