he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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