She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
