ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
