Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  She's JV to your varsity

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  (509): She's JV to your varsity http://tfl.nu/x8vj
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.

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  (504): if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever) (512): Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them. http://tfl.nu/9n19
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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  (614): I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on. http://tfl.nu/pnve
  Replies (11) Good night (622) Bad night (2033)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown

  (281): View more from Texas

  Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps

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  (210): stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown (281): Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps http://tfl.nu/xa4c
  Replies (22) Good night (961) Bad night (1794)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.

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  (305): I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner. http://tfl.nu/42gn
  Replies (28) Good night (1818) Bad night (3510)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.

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  (440): i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad. http://tfl.nu/60es
  Replies (16) Good night (1625) Bad night (5702)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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  (352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl
  Replies (34) Good night (6200) Bad night (2349)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.

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  (703): today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/mp4m
  Replies (1) Good night (2527) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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  (619): By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/je0g
  Replies (14) Good night (2559) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.

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  (507): You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face. http://tfl.nu/rpml
  Replies (12) Good night (640) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Boobs speak an international language.

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  (505): Boobs speak an international language. http://tfl.nu/m73t
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.

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  (303): Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place. http://tfl.nu/duki
  Replies (8) Good night (424) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

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  (484): True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/vrl4
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.

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  (281): We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron. http://tfl.nu/cli2
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (277)

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