Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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(214): I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/zhmd

Replies (40) Good night (3585) Bad night (1271)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

i just made my gag reflex go away.

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(336): i just made my gag reflex go away. http://tfl.nu/haya

Replies (47) Good night (7147) Bad night (740)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

(973): View more from New Jersey

What's this douchebags name?

(908): View more from New Jersey

Rob...

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(908): He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!" (973): What's this douchebags name? (908): Rob... http://tfl.nu/raez

Replies (67) Good night (7743) Bad night (3856)
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(248): View more from Michigan

it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world

(1-248): View more from Michigan

i told you not to try chat roulette

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(248): it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world (1-248): i told you not to try chat roulette http://tfl.nu/80bv

Replies (20) Good night (1264) Bad night (6500)
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(905): View more from Ontario

They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"

(905): View more from Ontario

And sadly I did.

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(905): They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?" (905): And sadly I did. http://tfl.nu/9e0f

Replies (25) Good night (2082) Bad night (4066)
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(636): View more from Missouri

No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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(636): No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from. http://tfl.nu/d5gf

Replies (4) Good night (1019) Bad night (2995)
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(703): View more from Virginia

no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.

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(703): no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing. http://tfl.nu/bnv5

Replies (33) Good night (5520) Bad night (1242)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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(724): It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution. http://tfl.nu/mzdu

Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (2461)
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(801): View more from Utah

Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.

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(801): Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess. http://tfl.nu/8hwd

Replies (8) Good night (4151) Bad night (977)
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(631): View more from New York

I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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(631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1

Replies (6) Good night (1062) Bad night (572)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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(414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby

Replies (6) Good night (618) Bad night (1474)
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(916): View more from California

I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

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(916): I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/ei5o

Replies (2) Good night (1176) Bad night (437)
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(512): View more from Texas

Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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(512): Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me http://tfl.nu/ce08

Replies (5) Good night (633) Bad night (1071)
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(469): View more from Texas

After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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(469): After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend. http://tfl.nu/7v59

Replies (5) Good night (1211) Bad night (427)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.

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(978): damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder. http://tfl.nu/kxku

Replies (2) Good night (221) Bad night (488)

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