This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in