If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream