Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick