Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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  (843): By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/tce7
  Replies (17) Good night (1678) Bad night (5632)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11609) Bad night (990)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1481) Bad night (5312)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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  (703): If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house? http://tfl.nu/eww0
  Replies (5) Good night (2540) Bad night (1061)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She told me I should be a condom model.

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  (631): She told me I should be a condom model. http://tfl.nu/0ukw
  Replies (14) Good night (7009) Bad night (808)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH

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  (775): I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH http://tfl.nu/ef88
  Replies (9) Good night (2158) Bad night (656)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

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  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2264) Bad night (683)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.

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  (303): Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel. http://tfl.nu/tevo
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (452)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.

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  (410): Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences. http://tfl.nu/tv4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1203) Bad night (331)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.

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  (775): He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants. http://tfl.nu/n2nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (656)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday

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  (706): We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday http://tfl.nu/wcd8
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (328)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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  (504): There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here. http://tfl.nu/vhqg
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (229)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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  (715): The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together http://tfl.nu/qn3b
  Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (267)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's important to play to your strengths.

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  (818): It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014. (440): It's important to play to your strengths. http://tfl.nu/uc6m
  Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.

  (818): View more from California

  As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.

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  (530): Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics. (818): As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet. http://tfl.nu/4f1d
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (218)

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