I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
