is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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