I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
