u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
