the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
