ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My breasts were aching with rage.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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