I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
