Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
