Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
