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my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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