Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
