That's intense
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
