If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
