the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
