Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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