I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
