FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
