I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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