Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
