I just gift wrapped bread.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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