so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think i have two assholes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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