Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
