I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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