next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize