think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
