Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
