That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
