matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
