and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
