nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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