You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
