are you so shy because you have an std?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
this boner is exhausting
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
