omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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