so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
