i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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